How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Remember how I have yet to blog about my past 2 vacations? Oops. That's why I'm going to go ahead and document this latest one before I forget a thing! Get ready for too many deets and tons of pics. Also, I decided to post in parts, otherwise you'd have a novel on your hands. And then you'd hate me forever.

Thursday, July 7:

We woke up at 5 AM to catch an ADO bus to Puebla. From Puebla we took another bus to Cuernavaca. The second bus line was called ORO, as in gold. That means it was absolute luxury, amigos. Best bus ride we've had yet. The leather plush seats reclined practically all the way to the floor, a foot rest was included, and the movie selection was not too horrible. I actually don't remember what film was showing because I'm pretty sure I was knocked out. Dear 16 year old me, someday you will become addicted to the drug called Dramamine. It's okay. NBD. 


(You should know that this vacation included numerous amounts of hilarious 'dear 16 year old me' letters to each other and lots of phrase repetitions... much like the Sandlot echoing brothers' repetition of  'the colossus of clout!')

I think I passed out immediately after this was taken.

Taxco was our final destination for the next 2 days. We finally arrived 7 hours later around 12:30 PM and of course we were starving for tacos, what else is new.We fell in love almost instantly with this city. I'm actually pretty sure we landed ourselves in Greece for the weekend minus the ocean. In fact, we could not stop singing "Mamma Mia" everywhere we went.

The first pic I snapped of this gorgeous city!

Taxco is considered to be one of the magical cities of Mexico, and magical it was. This also means it's quite the touristy spot, and we were alarmed by the amount of Mexican people speaking English sentences to us. It was kinda creepy.

We started hiking this hilly and romantic city in search of comida. Right away someone noticed our searching faces and led us in the direction of his sisters' brothers' cousins' restaurant. He guaranteed the food was only 30 pesos a plate even though the menu said 45. We weren't complaining. I'm pretty sure the whole table got enchiladas or mole, the safest choices usually.

Leaving the underground restaurant

Then we called the Monastery we'd be staying at for the night to make sure they were ready for us. Oh? What's that? Should I repeat that last sentence? Yes, we slept at a Monastery/Convent/Nunnery and the Nuns took such good care of us. bestfreakingtimeofmylife. More on that in just one second.

So we finished up our lunch and walked through more of the city to find a combi, mentally bookmarking all the little stands we wanted to shop at later. We finally flagged down the one that would take us to our heavenly destination and found that the driver couldn't have been more than 14 years old. Surprisingly, he got us safely there.

Just waiting on the combi for 20 min while the child driver took a smoke break, nbd

We look perfect, and you look bad. 

So, I should mention that Kira (Shakira sin Sha as you might say in Spanish), my co-teacher, had the hookups. Her host dad has a sister in law who has sisters who are nuns. So she mentioned that before we left, we called the Monastery, and badda bing badda boom. So the combi drops us off and we walk up this pretty cobblestone road, all the while singing Sound of Music tunes. What else would we be singing? Honestly, amigos, sometimes you just ask the most ridiculous questions. We get to the Monastery and ring the doorbell, a nun sticks her head out the window and says she's coming. It was already the coolest time of our lives. Where were the little Asian monk men we pictured when you said the word Monastery? I'd like to know the same thing, amigos.

The nuns show us in through the courtyard and up to our rooms. We each could have had our own bedrooms with 2 beds and a bathroom, but being the girly girls we are, we just wanted to share like a sleepover party.

We all vowed to decorate our future bathrooms like this one day

Then they have a meal waiting for us (our second lunch). When nuns have food prepared for you, you really can't say no.

Lunch round 2!

Then my favorite of the bunch cheerfully used her cell phone hello 21st century to call up a good friend/tour guide to meet us back in town to show us around. She described us as super guapo American girls and a super joven married couple. Perfect descriptions, verdad?

So at this point, I've already died and gone to heaven. We could have skipped all other plans and just stayed with the nuns all weekend and I would have been perfectly content. They were just so kind, generous, adorable, lovely, and Christlike; a perfect example of what I need to be more like. Also, who doesn't love being in a setting almost identical to Nacho Libre? Except this place was about 16 trillion times more legit.

That one on the far right jumped in like that at the last second. I love her so much!

So we made plans to stay there for 2 nights because why would we stay anywhere else? They provided every meal including hot chocolate and pan dulce snacks. FREE breakfast, lunch, and dinner with nuns is HEAVEN, just plain heaven. (but we knew we'd be paying an alms donation later, whatever alms are) Then we headed back to Greece to shop and probably get ice cream. Ice cream and shopping are always included in any trip, duh.

We took a combi back to town this time in search for Victor, friend to the nuns and tour guide of the city.  While waiting for him to show up, we were stared at and people tried to sell us useless things. What else is new. Victor then introduced us to his Uncle Peter who spoke perfect English. He said he just picked it up cuz so many tourists came through. Awesome. Wish I could just pick up Spanish like that.

Anyway, Taxco is known for their silver so we stopped through many silver stores. Also, we didn't really want to be shown around because being helped out at all in Mexico inevitably means you have to pay something in return. But we just had such a hard time saying no! It would get back to our Nuns somehow! So Peter explained some statues and mentioned he knew everyone and so we could get discounts and what not if we said we're friends of him. So I did just that and got myself a tiny adorable sombrero charm. You're gonna love it when you see it on me in the States.

Then suddenly the clouds were dark and it got chilly. Rain was on its way, and it was coming fast. So a few drops came and then suddenly buckets. We took shelter in a nearby gift shop and waited it out.  I took the opportunity to take a picture with Peter because even if we didn't need his help, he sure was kind and precious.

Em, Tour Guide Peter, and I just waiting for the rain to stop!

Once it stopped, we were out again looking at more silver stores because he kept taking us to them. Eventually we said we just wanted other things and we tried to find the few stores that were still open since it was getting dark. He waited and waited patiently for us as we shopped at one place for lots of gifts for family. All you need to know is that we shopped for gifts, and nothing more than that. I love surprises more than anything.

We had to end the night on the town with ice cream, of course. And after ordering and eating in the shop we knew the time had come for us to tip Peter. So we decided 15 pesos from each of us would total to 105 and that's like 10 bucks! Anddddd if it was all in change then he wouldn't have time to count it all in front of us so it would seem like more than it actually was! And we didn't even want a tour and it wasn't that great! So we dubbed Sweetheart Paige to be the official tip giver. We waited until we got to our combi, she put it in his hands, and then it was over!

3 scoops of ice cream and a heart shaped waffle bowl for less than 30 pesos!

The combi ride back was awesome. AWE-SOME. It was pitch black and we were surrounded by other Mexican local passengers. Katy Perry's "Firework" came on the radio in English, duh, and we started chiming in at the chorus. We knew about 7 words total, and it was actually hilarious. I'd post the video here, but most likely you had to be there to enjoy it. So just picture 6 American girls quietly singing/humming "ignite the light... shine... 4th of July...baby you're a firework...show..worth... shoot across the sky.. burst... make em go ah ah ah... moon... nah nah nah nah..." just laughing at themselves in between words. By the time we got to our stop (base of our 5 minute walk up to the convent), the whole combi had fallen in love with us. They convinced the driver (in Spanish of course) to take us all the way to the top, and Spanish speaker Brian informed us afterward because we had no idea otherwise. It was awesome. Pretty sure we changed a few lives on that combi that night.

And when we got back inside to see our Nuns we had FLOUR tortilla quesadillas, hot chocolate, and cookies waiting! We chatted with the Mother Superior and Sister Margherita for a bit and then headed to up to bed. I'm pretty sure we all said it was the best time of our lives at least 25 times each before going to sleep.

Friday, July 8:

We woke up the next morning and had even more food waiting for us for breakfast. They did not want us to be hungry at all, and thank goodness for that. Dear 16 year old me, one day you'll be drinking hot chocolate in July at every meal. Enjoy every last drop. 

Breakfast part 1!

Breakfast part 2!

Then we headed to town to catch yet another combi (basically a glorified Dharma Initiative van- just in case you're super confused to what that is I keep referring to) to go see some super cool caves. They did not disappoint. We also ran into quite a few people who spoke English while inside. They did not seem to be as awestruck with us as we were with them. Whatevs. They're probs just Europeans (that was for your coco). Those who were Americans though were delighted to talk to us and it was awesome. We just don't see too many white people here in Mexico and each time is such a delight! Our tour guide had weird intonations. We used the cave bathrooms. We took way too many pictures. It was a little bit too muggy, but we had a blast. Dear 16 year old Brittan, you won't need sunblock when walking through caves in a few years. Don't be crazy!

Team 1 outside the caves

Team 1 inside the caves

Then came the bombardment of desperate peddlers outside the caves trying to sell us necklaces, ice cream (we gave in to that man, obvi), earrings, dominoes, flowers, mangoes, you name it. They could have probably sold their own mother if it was allowed. I think one of them actually did sell me their mom. No way of knowing.

I think on the ride back to town I spoke a bit of blasphemy and admitted I was getting a little sick of tacos. I just wanted pizza for lunch. Is that too much to ask?! (I ended up with taquitos and rice. Sue me)

Remember this tiny guy in the first picture of the city?

We decided to head up to the Jesus statue to see the amazing view from the top. And amazing it was. Also, it was uphill both ways. FOR REALS. You know how your grandpa always says it was uphill both ways in the snow to get to school? It really was an uphill walk to the entrance of the statue and then it was downhill to the actual statue. Uphill BOTH WAYS. While up there, we snapped a few pics, but we were mostly distracted by the stick bug missing a leg trying to get up the wall. Again, I'd show you the video but you'd be a little bit bored. The combi ride back to the center of town was packed and sweatiness occurred for all on board. Also, nausea. Dear 16 year old me, always be first on the packed combi's to ensure the best seat by the open air. 

Mamma Mia, here we go again! My my, how can I resist you?

We ended our last night on the town with more gift shopping in the markets and of course more ice cream at the same place. Really amigos, save the judgmental comments for someone who cares! I've already planned my workouts for the moment I return home (that is after I return from my mini vacation to see family in south Texas where the best snow cones on Earth will be consumed at least 3 times a day)

I should also mention how every tour guide/peddler/anyone came up to me first  out of the whole group and started speaking Spanish directions/information. You wonder why, but just look at my face, hair, and shirt and you know the answer why, amigos.

Pre-scooped cup full of pomegranate for only 50 cents! deliciouso!

I bought at least 5 packs of the gum he was selling because he was just too cute to ignore

Our last supper with the Nuns in front of the Last Supper. Ironic? 

When we got back to see the Nuns we had another delicious meal waiting for us. All I'm saying is it's a good thing we got so much walking in throughout the day. Then they showed us all the goodies they make during the days to sell since they don't really have anyone paying them to be nuns. And then we proceeded to buy all that we could and then make our donations. We exchanged FB info hello 21st century and said our last goodbyes before bedtime. Oh, did I mention enough that they really are the sweetest people on this Earth? They were really just so great. The 2 days we spent with them in this Greece-look-alike city were honestly so magical. That's the best way to describe it!

Oh they are just so ADORABLE showing off their homemade goodies! 

We obviously didn't leave empty handed or empty bellied. 

Look forward to more stories about porta potty smelling buses and river paced lazy rivers tomorrow, amigos. I know you're on the edge of your seats already. Also, FB has tons more pictures for you to enjoy while you wait.