Dear whoever you might be, I'm still waiting patiently.

Post title lyrics by Civil Wars. I enjoy this version, but my new fav live version is below. 

*if these posts are too few and far between for your stalking pleasure liking, be sure to follow me on Instagram  @hanbanthegreat for more frequent updates ;)

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many [hypochondriac] things: [via Instagram pics]"

It all started when I couldn't sell my body donate plasma for moolah anymore because I ran a temperature of 99.6 degrees or higher at 5 different times in one month. Those phlebotomists made me get a note from my doctor before I could come back. And then my doctor made me get all these tests done including a blood sample and a TB test. 

If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.... (a reference that might hit a little too close to home, but goes nicely with this post.)

TB test results #1. It was definitely red, but not raised.  The silly assistant was clearly not trained very well in TB results because she marked this as positive and ordered a chest X-Ray immediately.

Said X-Ray.  Flattering front and side views of my upper body, if I do say so myself.  Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "No TB, but enlarged heart! To the hospital you go for more tests!" (Momma didn't actually call the doctor. I took care of this like the adult I am. Though she did wish she was there with me to hold my hand in loving support. Love that mom of mine!)

But in the meantime, before I could go in for an ECHO, the doctor's office called back and said, "Your blood sample came back positive for TB. We've notified the health department. You should call them immediately." Cue freak out moment. Cue the embarrassing sobs of thinking you have to notify the wretched boy you aren't on speaking terms with because he's a jerk. You kissed him recently and isn't TB contagious?! THE HORROR.  Cue the phone calls with worried parents calming you down. Then you go to the County Health Department in panic mode and the nurse says it's not TB, but orders TB Test #2 on the other arm just to be sure.  72 hours and many stressful tears later, I found out it was a false-positive.

But don't you worry, I still had an "enlarged heart" to fret about. 

I actually got to hear and see my own heart beating! Chance of a lifetime! #yolo

Nervous face in attractive hospital attire.  Luckily, there was nothing wrong with my heart, but it is mandatory to have an Echo done if the doctor has any worry of an enlarged heart. 

In the end,  I milked it for all it was worth. Treated myself real well. 

Got a new manicure as soon as I saw my fingers in this picture.  And ice cream always makes everything better.

After the fact medical bills that totaled close to $900 and I only had to pay a $20 co-pay. #seriouslysoblessed #lovemyparentsandtheirinsurance

We probably joked about this too much since people actually have this disease, but laughter can be the best medicine. And it's treatable! This isn't 1910, it's 2012!  Let the TB jokes keep coming. 

And my parents even had a few light-hearted things to say: 

So you're fine? Go eat some Fettucine Alfredo-- Heart attack on a plate. Your heart can handle that now! - Mom

Did the Cardiologist see that it's been broken a few times? - Dad 

(which isn't  actually light-hearted, just plain precious. My dad is so protective and if anyone hates the boyz that break my heart (and I do mean BOYZ not men) more than he does,  I'd like to meet 'em because his hatred runs deep)

My happily ever after? My doctor finally signed the note and said I'm good and healthy to donate plasma! I can start making the extra spending money for treats like these: 

New bag for all my grad-school needs!

New running shoes for all my training needs!

New Salt-Water Sandals for  all my fashion needs! Totally surprised Sister with some red ones and I think that now qualifies me as the best sister in the entire world. Not really debatable. 

And now to end with a tender song I am most recently obsessed with.