hush my darling, don't fear my darling

You probably won't laugh at anything I say in this post. Not like you ever do. But this time you fo sho won't. And that's really okay. Also, I just figured out how to edit my text in posts instead of by html. Best day of my life? Yup. Am I an idiot for taking this long to figure it out? Doyaduh.

Have I burst into tears many times at random places (while doing laundry, brushing my teeth, walking home from school, driving, after watching A More Perfect Union on my couch) in the past few weeks because I don't know what I'm doing with my life? Am I really admitting that on my public blog? Done and done. This is my blog and I'll do as I please, thankyouverymuch. I'm an emotional girl and I'm 100% okay with that.

I am graduating college in a month and I don't have a plan. Besides going to Mexico for the summer, nothing else is decided. I am a planner. I loveeeeee to plan things more than I love froyo, and that's a whole lot. If I could be a professional wedding/event planner for the rest of my life then I would be quite happy. But alas, that is not my calling in life. So not knowing what will happen once I leave this bubble college town of Provo scares me to death. I don't want to grow up yet. I can't focus on basic GE classes and I certainly can't focus on studying for the GRE, so thinking about my grad school applications for next year stresses me out to the high heavens.

But despite all these major life decisions, I know that I have the best parents [and Heavenly parents] in the whole universe and they love me no matter what. Tonight I Skyped with these cool cats and they made me feel a trillion times better about life. And I needed to tell the world. And I just gotta say that Heavenly Father sure knows how to answer prayers. He's the coolest cat of them all. (Can I say that about Him?!) I love Him and I love my eternal family.

(Judd Family. Christmas 2006)

I forgot I never showed Corrine Collins my favorite Christmas gift this year which happens to pertain perfectly to this post. My bro Jacob took a still shot from a very old home video of my dad holding me as an infant, dancing and lip synching in front of a camera to the song "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Remember it's the 80's whilst judging his outfit. Jake added a few lyrics to the print, had it framed, filmed my tender reaction on Christmas morning and voilà! Here it is:

So as that precious gift hangs on the wall in front of my bed, I am constantly reminded of his love for me as his oldest daughter. I find comfort in those lyrics and this song will always have a special place in my heart. And can I just say that I am beyond excited that I get to drive home to Texas with mi padre after graduation? It'll be just he and I and boy oh boy it will be a memorable experience indeed.

And just to get a little churchy on you I must say that I am also reminded of the love my Heavenly Father has for me when I read a different kind of lyrics in Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

And when all else fails, I listen to this song on repeat 108 times because it sure does calm my troubled mind. It's beautiful and I could listen alll day longgggg. Already listened to it like 7 time while writing this post. It's fine. NBD

So there you have it. A tender post about the tender issues of my life. Now go get a tissue and don't stop reading. I'm sure I'll have something funnier and more light-hearted to write about tomorrow.

xoxo

pie for breakfast and other such ramblings

I skipped my floral design class today and probably missed a quiz because I couldn't find a single thing to wear that looked even slightly attractive on my body. I settled on this shirt from my senior year in high school. (It was just one of those days, okay?) Thus, most of this post is all about my new slogan that I adopted today. It's alright, I'm a senior.

I had chocolate mousse pie for breakfast. It's the day after Pi day, whadya expect? it's alright, i'm a senior.

I daydream of visiting/holding/playing with this Baby Jack any chance I get instead of memorizing plant names and studying for the GRE. IAIAS


Please note Jack's tiny right hand gesture. He's just saying "wassup gangstas. you know how i do" Or something like that. I am clearly not familiar with such lingo. Corrine, help me out.


(finally one of my real life friends my age has a baby for me to play with. who's next?!)

I jumped for my joy in my mind when I received the email during English class that said racquetball class is cancelled. Was I on my phone the entire lecture except for when she showed a relevant movie clip of Johnny Depp playing Jack Sparrow? And should I be that excited for missing a half credit elective class? it's alright, i'm a senior.

The point is, I am clearly losing my mind and I have the WORST case of Senioritis you have ever seen. I know I've already mentioned it before, but seriously guys. It's gotten so so so bad. I will do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g to avoid anything to do with homework or school or productivity. ANYTHING. You want me to read your cousin's neighbor's sister's blog from beginning to now? SURE! You want me to go and celebrate half birthdays and St. Patrick's Day and any holiday known to man? SURE! You want me to Google and research the top casting choices for the Hunger Games movie? SURE! You want me to watch every movie trailer for every movie coming out this year? Even the rated R ones? Even Beastly and Gnomeo&Juliet? SURE! You want me to stay up all night to attempt to write an essay and then go to Denny's at 4 AM just because? SURE! You want me read and study and read some more all about Mexico and the place I will be living and the fun I'll be having all summer long? SURE!

I have lost 94.9% of all my motivation. I doubt I'm failing my classes, but at this point I think I'm okay with saying C's get Degrees. (Not really, Dad. I wouldn't ruin my transcript like that. But maybe. IDK. Probably not. Possibly. No way of knowing)

The other 5.1% of motivation has gone to fitness. If I could grade myself on exercise and healthy living I would be earning an A+. I 'competed' in a Biggest Loser challenge with some ladies back home. The final weigh in was this past weekend, and guess who won with 7.6% body weight gone? ME ME ME. (you didn't notice I look skinnier? I forgive you. I'm sure it's because I haven't seen you in a while. I'm too busy procrastinating my life away) I earned myself a $90 cash prize. Seeing as I missed class this morning due to lack of clothing, I will obviously be going shopping with my reward very soon. (stop your bad thoughts right there. we all know I own wayyyy too many clothes. but it's fine. NBD) Shopping is the only thing that keeps me sane these days. Even grocery shopping. And frozen yogurt. Live with it!

I just have 6ish weeks left. I can do this. I can do hard things. But if someone could please take the GRE for me, I would really appreciate it. And also decide my future for me. I'll buy you a whole Slab pizza, okay?

xoxo

P.S. You don't think I look Asian enough in my first picture? How about this for Asian? The Japanese floral arrangement I made last week. I'm naturally good at it, doyaduh.



And I'm sorry this post was kinda long. I was just tired of seeing the nonsense I wrote a few weeks ago. And I'm waiting for my sister to design me a new header. This blog is so ugly it's hard to write new posts. You understand, right?

[post edit] I should also probably mention that I am now a Jimmer convert. He's sort of a big deal. And he's also a senior like me. One of us has to perform at intense levels and keep motivation high. I'm glad it's not me. But I sure am glad I go to the same school he does. You know how much I love celebrities and all things famous. GO BYU COUGARS! Win some march madness and whatever else it is that you do.

I've Made a Huge Mistake

Ive made a huge mistake
Uploaded by alexis711. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

(Katie posted Arrested Development clips this week, so of course I wanted to copy her a little bit)

Today I realized I made a HUGE mistake by requesting a certain fellow I find attractive to be in my English class group. He is worthless. He does not contribute as much as he should and he never responds to group emails. And the quality of work that he puts forth is disappointing. Do I sound like a B right now? Probably. But this is not turning out the way I expected! And sure, maybe he has a GF. That's fine. But that does not excuse him from putting forth quality work as a part of a group. Our class depends on our group project grades. Step.it.up.buddy.

And also, since one of us (that might be me) has Senioritis big time, we can't afford 2 slackers in the group. Obvi.

(but boy oh boy, I can see how big his muscles are under all the layers of clothes he wears and mmm mmm mmmm that makes up for part of it)

On another note, I can't stop won't stop eating froyo. Call me a hipster, actually please don't call me that, but I just love it so much. I won't tell you how many times I've had some in the last week. But don't worry mom, it's low cal low fat. Totes fine. And I add fruit on top! Even healthier!

Happy March! I graduate NEXT month! Who wants to throw me a Fiesta themed graduation/going away party before I go off to Mexico this summer?! I have the best guacamole recipe, but that's probably because I'm a Mexican....Surprise!

xoxo